The Fragile Art of Love

I heard a mental health professional articulate that: “Broken men. Know who to love? But not how to love. And broken women. Know how to love? But not who to love.”

This statement echoes a painful reality about the human condition. Brokenness distorts our relationships, leaving us longing for love yet struggling to give or receive it as God intended. It reveals a deeper truth: without healing, we perpetuate cycles of self-sabotage, wounding ourselves and those we care for most. The solution to this brokenness lies not in mere self-help, but in surrender to the One who created us and alone can restore us—God.

When we are broken, our perceptions are fractured. Men, knowing who to love but not how, may find their hearts drawn to the right people but lack the emotional tools to nurture those relationships. Women, knowing how to love but not who, pour their hearts into places that may not honor or reciprocate their devotion. This imbalance leads to heartache, bitterness, and disillusionment. Without healing, our brokenness not only affects us but spills over into the lives of others, perpetuating cycles of pain.

This is why healing is essential. Prioritizing mental health is not just a luxury; it is a responsibility. Healing demands that we face the discomfort of our wounds. It requires us to examine our past, confront the lies we’ve believed about ourselves, and address the patterns that no longer serve us. It is not easy. It may take us into the “valley of the shadow of death,” where the pain of our trauma and the weight of our choices feel unbearable.

But we are not alone. David’s words in Psalm 23:4 remind us of this truth: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.” God does not abandon us in our brokenness. He walks beside us through every dark path, every uncomfortable conversation, every moment of vulnerability. He is the Great Physician, able to bind up the wounds we thought would never heal and breathe new life into places that once seemed lifeless.

Healing, though uncomfortable, is worth it. As God works in us, He not only restores us but also teaches us how to love rightly. Broken men learn not just who to love but how to love. Broken women discover not only how to love but also who to love. In God’s hands, our brokenness becomes a canvas for His redemption, shaping us into vessels of His grace.

Today, let us commit to the journey of healing.

-Jermy Arnold